While emptying the dishwasher the other day I noted the total end to the holiday season of 2018. Our everyday dishes are 30 years old and still in good shape, but for a month or so each year, they are replaced with the Christmas ware. This is a crazy indulgence that began as a gift and has accumulated over the years.
The dishes are significant at this stage of life as they represent a past, present, and future. It took time to amass them, and now there are enough to feed a whole crew at the annual Christmas Eve dinner. When they come out now, they are a promise of homecoming and excitement and a full house which is mostly quiet the rest of the year. When they are put away, it is a return to “normal,” which means everyone has gone their own way. As the years pass, I realize this meaning will change again. We are at a stage where the kids are mostly gone, but not so set in their own lives that they don’t return for Christmas, but that time will come. I feel it.
This was my 25th Christmas as a mother. The oldest will be 26 soon. It took several months to say I had a 25 year old without feeling the urge to choke a little. Where did the time go? I have always said and believed it is a parent’s job to raise their kids to leave. I have done such a good job, none of mine are physically close, though in the day of technology, I hear from them sometimes several times a day.
Parenting is this crazy journey that you never feel quiet prepared for. Once you figure something out, it is on to the next milestone or event, and all that knowledge is now not so useful. Even with multiple children, they are often just different enough that you are never so confident that you know it all. Just when you think you are out of the weeds, you realize you are in a forest or a desert.
All I can say is, if you are a new parent, tired from lack of sleep, parenting a toddler who is learning their independence, a pre-school or school age child struggling with homework, a teenager demanding their independence, or a young adult finding their wings, don’t rush or wish it away to the next stage. It may get easier or harder, complicated or fulfilling, but you can never go back. It never ends, so just enjoy where you are in this moment.
I have had a lot of practice with my children and helping others, I hope I can help you too. Just let me know what might be on your mind. I don’t pretend to know it all, but together maybe we can make it easier so you can enjoy the place you are in and build a relationship with your children for the future that satisfies you both. The parenting journey takes a lifetime. Each seed you plant will thrive or wither. Mistakes are made, lessons are learned, but having some guidance for those difficult moments, encouragement in times of stress or joy, can help with confidence along the way. Some days are easier than others, even now I don’t always get it right, but I keep trying. The reality is parenting never ends, just like the dishes there is always something else that needs to be done. Send questions or stay tuned, and maybe I can help you dry your dishes while you enjoy your kids.
Parenting with Practice 